i had my wisdom teeth out last week and i'm still in pain and swollen from it.
vday was nice, i slept mostly cause i had a snowday from the storm that blew in.
its really cold around here and being stuck inside with not much to do is kinda a bummer.
today is my 18th bday and i'm not feeling too great but i have a weekend of surprises in for me. my bf is so nice.
the piece i last submitted, self portrait with my plucking my eyebrows won an honorable meantion in the Boston Globe Scolastics where i entered it. my teacher told me that i entered it in the wrong catagory so it should've got a gold....but i think she was trying to be nice.
other than that i havent done much in the way of art. i need to try and do stuff.
hope you're all well in this cold winter season and enjoy the snow.
much love

so the growths on the pancreas wasn't it... turns out to be 3 things:
1 - i have an extremely rare uncurable disease called Stenalis Syndrome. what happens is that the bones, muscles, cartilidge, joints, tendons, and everything else in my upper body is infected/inflammed and there is constant pain.
2 - my spine is so out of alignment that its pushing my small intestine (why it hurts to eat) into my aorta, the main blood carrier from your heart which is wrapped and bundled with millions of nerves running from the heart, lungs, stomach, liver and all the rest of the major organs in my torso.
3 - the ribs on the left side of my body are bent inward and too close to my left lung, to the point where they rub against each other. not only causing great pain but making me more sick and if i was to get even the common cold it would lead to fluid in my lungs and all that nasty stuff that comes with that.
SO! i've been pumped full of medication after medication with hopes of nothing but garenteed stomach ulcers which run in my family and have killed several of my realitives because my family is frail.
it will be amazing if i make it to see my 21st birthday at my current rate. i'm waiting for my doctors to tell me "you have cancer" and even then i won't be surpsied. i hope you are all well. ~ mad love

the last entry i posted entitled "health issues" still stands, but with added problems now.
last Monday night i spit up 3 globs of blood. my mom called the hospital and tlaked to a nurse who told her "if it happens again, call us."
my doctors appointment had to be canceled cause my mom was working but then my doctor calls me and tells me theres another problem. my mom never called him back about it till last Saturday.
turns out i have growths on my pancreas. don't know what kind but i have to get some heavy medication to get rid of them, and if that doesn't work i have to get an operation to get rid of them.
so, thankfully i was able to reschedual an appointment this Friday to get some tests done to see what kind of growths they are exactly and what pills i need.
plus my throat problem isn't clearing up so i need stronger medication for that as well.
i'm gonna be a drugged up zombie by Sunday....
and i hope the rest of you are doing much better than i am. lots of love!

i guess few of you knew that i was even sick, but i am. this past Friday (19th) i had to get an operation.
the acid in my stomach is eating away at the lining and muscles in my throat so i've been experiancing a lot of pain for the past year. now at least i've gotten medication to (hopefully) begin to fix this problem.
i'll keep you all updated in 8 weeks when the medication is suppose to start showing effects.
thank you for all giving me support (even if you were unaware)
much love to you all and i hope you are all well

i got a digital camera last week and i've been a wicked camera whore lately. i'm so happy cause now i can experiment more with photography and not have to pay for shitty one hour service.
keep your eyes out for my pics coming soon
<3